The following is from an article by C.S. Lewis “How to Get Along With Difficult People” that is cited in Alexander Strauch’s book Biblical Eldership An Urgent Call To Restore Biblical Church Leadership.
“And you see, looking back, how all the plans you have ever made always have shipwrecked on that fatal flaw–on “X’s” incurable jealousy, or laziness, or touchiness, or muddleheadedness, or bossiness, or ill temper, or changeableness…
“This is the next great step in wisdom–to realize that you also are just that sort of person, You also have a fatal flaw in your character. All the hopes and plans of others have again and again shipwrecked on your character just as your hopes and plans have shipwrecked on theirs.
“It is no good passing this over with some vague, general admission such as “Of course, I know I have my faults.” It is important to realize that there is some really fatal flaw in you: something which gives the others just the same feeling of despair which their flaws give you, And it is almost certainly something you don’t know about–like what the advertisements call “halitosis” which everyone notices except the person who has it.
“But why, you ask, don’t the others tell me? Believe me, they have tried to tell you over and over again, and you just couldn’t “take it.” Perhaps a good deal of what you call their “nagging” or “bad temper” or “queerness” are just their attempts to make you see the truth. And even the faults you do know you don’t know fully.”